Jansen Douglas
jansen douglas is a fictional character that has become somewhat of a legend or tall tale in the upper midwest. the name jansen douglas is loosely based off of sir zacharias jansen, whom invented the telescope.
the story goes that douglas was born and raised near rochester, mn to a family of furbish descent. he found himself to be of rather short stature and with flat-ironed feet. to make up for this, he wanted to work on (and pilot) the biggest, nastiest diesel-powered machines.
so his career was to fix machinery. this was rather contradictory to the fact that by age 19 the man had already totalled five cars…and he was known as a true hazard on the roadways where he romped. throughout his career, he spent much of his time looming over growlers.
friends would often find him buried nose-deep in the hot wheels pegs or scouring urban dictionary. he was also world-renowned for his e-revo billowing acts. he started out small time but eventually hit paydirt in sauk rapids.
legend has it that jansen douglas now lives somewhere in north dakota. the last claimed siting of him was in mid-2009 at a slipknot concert in mankato, minnesota where he was found laid out in a crumpled heap on the floor with a beer-soaked shirt.
pictures have supposedly surfaced of this rare being. each picture almost always has one of two attributes; a large gritting smile; or douglas shown with wildly-thrown elbows and an r/c body 10 feet above his head and smoke billowing out from the t-tan 550’s.
that is the well-known story of jansen douglas.
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