Japanese cars

cars that do not rust away because they are made entirely of plastic. for this reason they are entirely inferior to cars produced by the likes of the ford motor company and general motors. often times these cars will be “modded” to make them faster. this futile effort has lead to the creation of the most hideous cars ever seen on the face of this planet. wings the size of a pool table, body kits that try to create the illusion that the car has been lowered, and neon lights are installed to create horsepower boosts and improved traction and handling. examples of j-panes cars include the mitsubishi lancer, which is produced by the same company that in world war ii produced fighter planes that the j-panese imperial navy used to attack and kill american pilots. lately the j-panese have been trying to make pickup trucks and sport-utility vehicles, but they suck at it just like they suck at everything else. an example of this is the honda element, which is in the top 5 for ugliest car ever, and the honda ridgeline, the most useless truck ever.
let’s play tug of war between my f350 and your ridgeline. then later we can drag race my shelby cobra mustang against your civic. come to think of it, i’ll have my f-150 lighting race the civic. the look on your face when you lose a race to a pickup truck will be priceless. j-panese cars are a joke.
nice looking cars…gee, james lowe sure loves those ford focuses
lenny: wow homers got one of those robot cars!
(crash!)
carl: one of those american robot cars…
any vehicle made by a j-panese company. contrary to the common myth, g-d does not personally make them and send them down in little wicker baskets to their proud new owners. they are sometimes -ssembled in america, sometimes in j-pan, but the money always goes to the j-panese company that makes them, so they are foreign vehicles, by definition. (see also: “united auto worker” and “starvation in america”) j-panese cars are always cheap and junky, although sometimes they are wrapped in expensive plastic or leather, to give the impression of quality. “giving the impression…” is what j-panese cars do best (see also: “pearl harbor sneak attack”) because they usually do this for 3 or 4 years, and then they disappear, never to be seen or heard from again. you can usually see the process of j-panese cars returning to the earth beginning on 4-5 year-old examples, usually manifesting as rust holes around the rear wheels. there is much mythology surrounding “older” j-panese cars, but, like the loch ness monster, no one ever actually sees an “older” j-panese car. compare this to 15-30 year old american cars, which can be seen on a daily basis. (as a curiosity, some people have pointed out that american cars can not attain 100,000 miles or more. this is true, all older american cars have 5-digit odometers, therefore they can not ever hit 100,000 miles, and so they automatically self-destruct at 99,999 miles.) when general motors and ford go out of business, j-panese cars will suddenly triple in price, and the american government will contract with j-pan for all war vehicles in the future. of course, j-pan is a peaceful nation (see: “bataan death march”, “kamikaze”, “comfort women”, “j-panese war crimes”) so with their leadership, there will likely never be another war in the world.
we are still looking for older j-panese cars to use as examples.
the epitome (wtf is an opitime ya r-t-rd) of a well-rounded car that has enough performance for the average driver and the capabilities to become a high-performance vehicle for car enthusiasts. a car that operates perfectly fine without requiring one to deplete his or her bank account to fill up a gas tank. a car that, with the correct modifications, will compete with and hold its own against any american muscle car. a car that doesn’t pour out gallons and gallons of smog and pollution. a car that is safe, reliable, durable, and will not break down after 100,000 miles.
j-panese cars are on the road 10, even 15 years after they were bought. amazing
the true opitime of sh-t. you have to tune these 4-cylinder pieces of fuel efficieny sh-t to the max just to make them worthy of a “car”

what happened to the old american muscle? sure they had sh-tty gas mileage, but the power, the torque, the good looks, and the sheer originality shows the pinnacle of engine technology. back then 425 bhp was sport to the creators.. now we only see less than 250 unless its the sports car like the ’05 mustang or the corvette.

it is a shame that cars this cr-ppy ae actually being manufactured.. sweat-shop workers in panama could make these ugly, powerless pieces of junk blindfolded and if they were mentally r-t-rded.

it pains us american muscle fans every day that we have to look at these new cars and say “what happened to cars nowadays?”

i hope all you people that stand by lo-mein rockets that you will see the true light and obey your roots.. given if you were alive back then and you were not of american nationality.

drive those pieces today, but know this.. cars like american muscle will never be made again, and we need more man-hours to keep them in existence. it will be more than worth it to see these babies 50-100 years from now.
rice-rockets are no better than to kiss american muscle’s tires.

j-panese cars are wannabees