jason bourne’d


1.to effectively dispatch anyone ignorant enough to attempt an -ssault upon you, or a contact of high importance.

2. to make someone look breathtakingly inept during a physical confrontation.

3. to “rock the sh-t” as brian fantana put it.
“a bunch of wannabe gangsters tried to jump me, and i jason bourne’d them. needless to say it was spectacular.”
to claim to have no memory of something by placing the blame on a government organization, rather than one’s own forgetfulness.
anniversaries:

spouse: “did you not remember that today is our anniversary?”
you: “sorry, significant other, but i jason bourne’d all about it”

grocery shopping:

spouse: “did you forget the milk, again?”
you: “whoops. my bad, love of my life, but i jason bourne’d as i walked past the dairy aisle.”

destroying the evidence:

spouse: “did you get rid of the body like i told you to?”
you: “d-mn. i’ll admit, ball and chain, that i’m a highly-trained -ss-ssin that works for a shadowy government organization that i can recall almost nothing about… i.e. i jason bourne’d the corpse.”

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