Jesse Standard Time
jesse standard time (jst) is based on the present time zone plus 15 minutes. it’s not a standard 15 minutes however and in some cases could be upwards of real-time plus 30 minutes or even 60 minutes.
the origin of jesse standard time is somewhat unknown, but it’s believe it dates back approximately 40 years to 1969.
jesse standard time was first discovered by the author of this term back in 1990. at that time jst was typically only approximately 5 minutes behind real time however over the years jst has increasingly fallen farther behind. based on statistical -n-lysis of jst over the past 20 years by a team of scientists commissioned by father time it has been concluded that given the current rate of “time slippage” jst will be a full calendar day behind by sometime in august of the year 2044.
jst cannot be adjusted or altered by any known force in the universe. many have attempted to compensate for the difference in jst vs. real time by adjusting schedules by up to 30 minutes in hopes to negate the effect. these futile attempts have routinely come up short and have been known to cause jst to slip even farther than normal.
this author recommends that those trying to ignore its existence or to resist jst should just accept it. jst should be embraced by all. jst is a very powerful tool and resistance to its forces will most likely negatively impact your daily schedule, but if used correctly can actually increase the amount of time in your day.
boss: “hey bob, where have you been? we start work here at 8:00am… it’s 8:20am!!”
worker: “i’m not late, i’m running on jst.”
boss: “jst, what’s that?”
worker: “that’s jesse standard time of course.”
Read Also:
- kick out an aussy
to kick out a hot, steamin’ fresh brown monster or as people from kentucky say “give back to the government” austrailian man to wife: well that was a brillian dinna, i think its about time for me to “kick out an aussy”
- Can Kiss
when one person drinks from the same can as another person. both of their lips have been on the can. i was so thirsty that i can kissed billy’s drink last night!
- farty four
what people in the st. louis area typically call highway fourty four. if you are in st. louis, and you ask for directions, and it involves highway fourty four, chances are someone will say it this way. how do you get to six flags? “take highway 270 to highway farty four and go west until […]
- Lucky Cinder-Block
a) the lucky cinder-block is a fict-tious object carried by backpackers and students. it represents any extremely heavy object carried for no particular reason. b) any useless, weighty, or otherwise pointless object occupying an inordinate amount of sp-ce in a backpack. steve: hey joe, why is your backpack so heavy? joe: i don’t know. steve: […]
- lucky sperm flow baby
child whose parents are rich, famous, or politically powerful if bristol palin wasn’t a lucky sperm flow baby, no one would even know her name.