Johnson Bar


a lever that is either attached to the steering column or the dashboard of a semi-tractor within the drivers reach that controls only the application of the trailer brakes.
since i own my own tractor and am always pulling a company trailer, i always use the johnson bar to apply the brakes so i will never have to pay for a brake job on my semi-tractor.
a d-ld-. also daddle, cantonese groin
“i’m not into those silly toys with ducks, beavers or the whole darn menagerie. prefer to stick in a plain johnson bar to get the good ole vibes”
a fict-tious car part that, when broken, can generate sympathy and possible cash from an unsuspecting parent.
“mom, my the johnson bar on my vw broke and i need $50.00”

“i’m broke and need some money to replace the johnson bar on my car…can i borrow $50.00?
a tool used by ‘railroad engineers’ (now archaic on modern locomotives and loading docks)

1) a johnson bar, aka “j”-bar, is a lever-dolly; (a wheeled prybar having an extended handle and a deep reverse-beveled nose-iron), which is used to jockey heavy apparatus into position.

2) a hand lever with several distinct positions and a positive clutch to hold the lever in the selected position. the positive clutch is typically activated with a spring-loaded squeeze handle on the lever so that only one hand is needed to release the clutch, move the lever, then reengage the clutch.

3) sometimes used in a s-xual context since a ‘j bar’ looks like…you know.

4) if used would be considered an archaic term except you can still purchase them in tool catalogs.
girl: geez you really know what to do with that ‘johnson bar’.

guy: it’s is really hard when you have a name like ‘willie’, ‘john’, ‘cr-pper’, or ‘quisling’. everyone makes a big joke out of it. kind of like being a ‘li’ from china or ‘smith’ from the us. however, archimedes said, “give me a big enough lever, and i will move the world.”
the us census says that the 20 most common names are: smith 1.01%, johnson 0.81%, williams 0.70%, jones 0.62%, brown 0.62%, davis 0.48%, miller 0.42%, wilson 0.34%, moore 0.31%, 0. taylor 0.31%, anderson 0.31%, thomas 0.31%, jackson 0.31%, white 0.28%, harris 0.28, martin 0.27%, thompson 0.27%, garcia 0.25%, martinez 0.23%, robinson 0.23%, clark 0.23%, rodriguez 0.23%, lewis 0.23%, lee 0.22%, walker 0.22% hall 0.20%, allen 0.20%, young 0.19%, hernandez 0.19%, and king 0.19%

girl: d-mn, i know what you mean my name is taylor willamina martinez-johnson.

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