Jonathan Papelbon


a closer for the boston red sox who single-handedly blew his team’s entire 2009 season in one winning against the angels.

when the all star game was held in new york in 2008 he made the mistake of saying he should close instead of mariono rivera. rivera is both the yankees’ closer and best closer of all time so you think it goes without saying that he gets to close when the game is held in his team’s city.

papelbon, who is from louisiana and probably didn’t finish grade school, didn’t understand this and when yankee fans expressed their outrage at his comment, he claimed he became frightened for his pregnant wife when him and her partic-p-ted in the parade before the game.

he is a complete moron and yokel who probably has s-x with his sister.
baseball fan: how did the red sox do in the playoffs in 2009?

red sox fan: they did pretty well but if it wasn’t for jonathan papelbon who knows how far they could’ve gone.

baseball fan: yeah, he really f-cked you guys huh?

red sox fan: amazing how 1 guy was able to blow an entire season in 1 inning.
1 more definition
kick -ss closer/future ace pitcher for the boston red sox; wears number 58 and has a 100 mph heater and nasty splitter – is also the best pick i ever made in a fantasy draft and is the reason why beaner can’t beat the leprechauns for sh-t
jonathan papelbon has 15 saves in 15 oppurtunities for the red sox

jonathan papelbon can strike ur -ss out with his eyes closed

Read Also:

  • Jonesport Maine

    jonesport maine is a stupid town in downeast maine. the most know feature of jonesport is incest. if you live in jonesport your family tree is a wreath. in jonesport maine your mother might also be your sister.

  • jooch

    jooch (n) – slang term for the jwh research chemicals, most commonly jwh-018. jooch can refer either to the pure powdered substance, or a legal bud or spice product containing it. jooch, being a synthetic cannabinoid, produces effects similar to marijuana when smoked or vaporized. jooch is legal in most jurisdictions and much cheaper than […]

  • joojup

    this term is versatile. it can be used as a verb, noun, or adjective. originated in korea, it’s a term used to describe freeloaders, mooches, pesty people who can’t take a hint, & people who are cheap in a very tacky fashion. there are lots of joojups in this world and we interact (unfortunately) with […]

  • Jordan Packer

    a person who likes to offer little boys popsicles out of the back of his big white van. has a very tiny p-n-s and likes to take pictures of guys -sses. registered child molester. me: “did you hear about that guy who got arrested for raping kids at chuckee cheese?” you: “yeah he was such […]

  • Jordan River

    a river right next jordan and israel. not many know this but it is the place where jesus christ was baptized. it flows off in to the dead sea. someone 1: hey have you been to jordan river? someone2: no, why? someone 1: its where jesus was baptized. its really nice there.


Disclaimer: Jonathan Papelbon definition / meaning should not be considered complete, up to date, and is not intended to be used in place of a visit, consultation, or advice of a legal, medical, or any other professional. All content on this website is for informational purposes only.