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j. s. foer is a third-generation american-jewish writer and so are all the characters he writes about. the worlds they inhabit, however, are fantastical, whimsical and full of war and s-x, which, to foer, are the deepest things there are as he is an atheist. he makes himself laugh in front of an open microsoft word doc-ment by typing phrases like “heavy boots” and “to have sh-t inbetween the brains” and “beating one’s b-n-r” and “dipsh-ttake.” he is married, which means he once had a girlfriend, which is surprising.

no, i do not have a girlfriend either, which is why i am on this site, making myself laugh in front of an open internet explorer window.

his first novel was highly and almost ubiquitously acclaimed for its bravery, emotion, power, cleverness, insight, n-bility, literary aesthetic, large paragraphs, typographical farts, and big words. these reviews made people who didn’t review books confused, saying, often, “i thought it was really cool, but i didn’t think it was…(quote from reviews here).”

students of literature liked this book, because it was easy to interpret and write about at great lengths, and yet complex and open to different interpretations due to its abstractness of… not really symbolism, but something like that. also, because it made them cry on every odd page and laugh on every even page.

his second was somewhat highly acclaimed because those critics who didn’t hate it immensely felt awkward giving it a “ok” review in contrast to a terrible review.

these reviews made people who don’t write reviews very confused about what they were supposed to like and what they were supposed to think was garbage.

students of literature read this book and realized that foer writes without any regard to meaning whatsoever, and are really upset that his work has been translated into over… what is it? fifty languages? seventy? because when the nuclear warhead drops on new york city like foer thinks is going to happen, the people five-hundred years from now will have a copy of his second novel and think that that’s the best that we could do.

derivatives:

jonathan safran foery: (usually of a statement) clever in a way that makes one giggle as if on a lot of caffeine
jonathan safran foer got a girlfriend and then lost his ability to write. i hope he’ll get it back someday, because his first novel was sweet.
j. s. foer is a third-generation american-jewish writer and so are all the characters he writes about. in some small way. the worlds they inhabit, however, are fantastical, whimsical and full of war and s-x, which, to foer, are the deepest things there are as he is an atheist.

he makes himself laugh in front of an open microsoft word doc-ment by typing phrases like “heavy boots” and “to have sh-t inbetween the brains” and “beating one’s b-n-r” and “dipsh-ttake”; which is a rather pathetic thing for a man of his success level to be doing. he is married, which means he once had a girlfriend, which is surprising.

no, i do not have a girlfriend either, which is why i am on this site, making myself laugh in front of an open internet explorer window.

his first novel was highly and almost ubiquitously acclaimed for its bravery, emotion, power, insight, n-bility, literary aesthetic, lack of paragraph breaks, typographical farts, and clever use of the thesaurus function in microsoft word.

these reviews made people who didn’t review books confused, saying, often, “i thought it was really cool, but i didn’t think it was…(quote from reviews here).”

students of literature liked this book, because it was easy to interpret and write about at great lengths, and yet complex and open to different interpretations due to its abstractness of… not really symbolism, but something like that.

also, because it made them cry on every odd page and laugh on every even page.

his second was somewhat highly acclaimed because those critics who didn’t hate it immensely felt awkward giving it a “ok” review in contrast to a terrible review.

these reviews made people who don’t write reviews very confused about what they were supposed to like and what they were supposed to think was garbage.

students of literature read this book and realized that foer writes without any regard to meaning whatsoever, and that his first book was good largely by mistake, and are really upset that his work has been translated into over… what is it? fifty languages? seventy? because when the nuclear warhead drops on new york city like foer thinks is going to happen, the people five-hundred years from now will have a copy of his second novel and think that that’s the best that we could do.
jonathan safran foer got a girlfriend and then lost his ability to write. i hope he’ll ditch her get it back because his first novel was sweet.