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a school district in illinois that has many shooting threats. it has a familiar smell of sh-t in the morning when you get off the bus. there is a thousand dollar water tower that is never in-use. there is also a dinosaur sculpture, that is rumoured to cost three thousand dollars or a student made it in a blow off welding cl-ss. in the near future, we are getting an electronic board that cost three million dollars from all the vending machine money. it will have the directions on how to get into the school, “go through the front door!” it has alot of various cliques, like emos, preps, emo/preps, cheerleaders, poms (wanna-be cheerleaders), jocks, football playas, ect.

rivals are: geneva, batavia, dekalb, ect.

famous graduates: pj fleck (camp at kaneland, pro-football player); casey crosby (blonde haired kid that plays baseball for the detroit tigers); eric (from eric and kathy: in the morning, 101.9); ect.

famous for: the bus scandal, 8 snow days per year, school shooting threats (for like three weeks), construction of the new middle school, 8th grade in high school, the food fight, the district towns (elburn, sugar grove, maple park, virgil, aurora, montgomery, batavia), expensive parking spots, awesome security guards and cameras, lesbian bus drivers.
john: i go to kaneland.
matt (batavia rival): kaneland suuuuucks.
john: we have a cool water tower & dinosaur, suckkka.

nick: dude, ken, i think my bus driver likes me.
ken : dude, nick, she is a dyk-.

lindsay: do you listen to eric and kathy?
benjamin: all the time, girl frannn.
lindsay: eric went to kaneland.
benjamin: wow, he’s famous.

c.j.: dude, my mom almost forgot to walk to the front door.
ken: i am so glad we have that million dollar sign coming.
c.j.: oh yes, thank god everyone at kaneland is fat.

suzy: it costs $150 to park in the lot!
wanda: take the bus.
suzy: my bus driver is a lesbian, though.
wanda: atleast we have a cool sign!

joe: hey kimmy, close your f-cking legs. you smell like sh-t.
kimmy: joe, f-ck off! that’s the smell of kaneland! d-ckhead.
joe: kimmy, go eat some high in trans-fat french fries from our cafetaria. and go f-ck your lesbo busdriver.

cosmo: we have a snow day tomorrow.
thomas: how do you know?
cosmo: i’m going to deflate all the tires.
thomas: ahahahahaahha. that’s rich, like ovaltine.

marissa: omg, i have yellow spots all over me!
chihuahua: omg! the seniors did a gay prank, with paintb-lls!
marissa: how un-original, they should have thrown underwear all over the front of the school.
chihuahua: they did that the day after, because they are so coooool!
marissa: i heard that johnny, had to pick it all up.
chihuahua: holy sh-t, it’s friday! i have to recycle!

bobby: i’m going to pj fleck’s camp this summer!
nate: that is a waste of money, you won’t even make the team.
bobby: shut ‘yo mouf!