Kellymate


a term used to describe someone of carrot-coloured hair, a slightly out of proportioned nose, and an ego the size of a small european country who have the ability to place the word ‘mate’ wherever necessary to further their lad status amongst their (supposed) worthless peers in the face of a kellymate.

when not playing or talking about rugby, getting leshed (sic) or attaching the air pump to the valve in their head, kellymates are asleep, although in their dreams they aspire to be ever greater.
sadly for kellymates, such plans are thwarted by reality.

kellymates are often found in the vicinity of a pub pulling a tc ( tactical chunder ) or on the rugby field shouting orders in a self-presumed captain’s position or in various facebook photo uploads holding a cheeky pint in one hand, and an equally cheeky cigarette in the other.
uberlad #1 : mate, that’s kellymate coming over
uberlad #2 : mate, i know. is that a rugby ball in his hand?
uberlad #3 : oh no, he’s looking at his blackberry mate, he’s going to tell us about his messy noight last weekend.

kellymate: alright mate? up for a messy lesh sesh on friday noight?

others : your banter is sh-t.
kellymate : no mate, my banter is just too sick mate.

omniscient voice of truth: kellymate’s banter is sh-t.

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