KL Helpline
the kl helpline answers all questions with scalpel-like accuracy and correctness. it is the most reliable and valid source of information when completing -ssignments. said information must be referenced to avoid suspicion and plagiarism, or else it will look like you stole it straight outta area 51 or some other top secret government facility due to its precocious nature. if the kl helpline had been around over two-thousand years ago, jesus would have no reason to seek help from his father with -ssignments.
kl helpline: you have reached the kl helpline. how may i help you?
student: i’ve been trying to get with this girl i really like, and i don’t want to screw it up… could you tell me how i could approach her?
kl helpline: just tell her that you’re attracted to her like the earth is attracted to the sun: inversely proportional to the distance squared.
student: wow! thanks kl helpline! you’re the best!
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