Langert
langerts tend to be angry creatures who are usually found any place there is alcohol and/or large br–sts. they generally attack when their victims least expect it and usually use an attack known as the “grizzly bear” or “billy goat”. be sure to not get too close to a langert when he is near alcohol/large br–sts. they have a unique mating call and you know one is close when you hear hunters chant “get langert laid! get langert laid!”. this creature tends to have a problem sealing the deal when it comes to mating. this creature may become extinct if this problem isn’t solved as soon as possible. langerts are also known for their pick up lines and ability to consume m-ssive amounts of alcohol. these creatures travel alone and may attack at any time.
i hear the get langert laid chant, he must be near.
girl 1: i heard the strangest pickup line lastnight. some guy told me he cried while he was watching the notebook.
girl 2: that’d be a langert
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