law school

1) a place where stoners and alcoholics can get a graduate degree.

2) an inst-tution where starry eyed idealists have their dreams of upholding justice and benefiting humanity heartlessly destroyed while incurring more debt than a third world country. these poor souls, after three years of brutal socratic torture and exposure to the cruel reality of the broken justice system and the non-existent job market, come out of law school stoners or alcoholics.
everyone ends up graduating from law school a stoner or an alcoholic.
a place where students fail to recognize that law is not an exact science, and that the law is, essentially, what a jury or a powerful judge says it is. it is not uncommon for the inmates, that is to say, one’s cl-ssmates, to constantly over-n-lyze the -n-lyses of -n-lyses. moreover, regardless of a students’ understanding of the law, they will fail to impress on exams, unless they use certain key terms which are only used by lawyers. these terms include: moreover, in sum, unconscionable, keen, cogent, nugget, comity, proportionality, substantial, reasonableness, as it were, precedent, stare decisis, sua sponte, de novo, and various other latin phrases, the mispr-nunciation of which most likely has marcus aurelius turning in his grave.
i decided to go to law school because i thought it would be a smart move. then i realized that common law was insanity, and that maybe i should have just moved to france or sweden with my tuition money. too late! now i’ve made my pact with the devil.
a building where you will spend three years of your life reading statutes, court cases, and legal commentary. you also will spend time arguing over politics, drinking beer, and playing poker. for the privilege of doing all this, you will pay a minimum of $30,000 per year (probably more in the western or northeastern u.s. states).
law school typically serves as a training ground for politicians, real estate developers, and professional gamblers.
to put it simply:

the epitome of all that is evil.
what’s law school kailyn?

evil daddy!

that’s right!
an inst-tution for the study of law. selecting candidates according to their academic qualifications and their personal character, it focuses on the professional education of lawyers and the academic study of the law. it not only teaches the law in its current form but fosters the creativity and -n-lytic capability needed to see the law relative to all of its possible manifestations and to the static idea of justice. thus the student learns to criticize the law, theorize it, and discover ways to change it for the better.
“bob went to the university of michigan law school.”
an inst-tution that steals three years of your life for three times the amount you paid for in undergraduate school. all learned there is how to party harder and longer without getting caught or at least an effective way to argue your way out of trouble.
man, law school is such a drag… but hey hey, i knew my 1st amendement rights.
scattered across the nation, they are places where the evil, vicious, and stupid are kept away from decent society for a few years. not to be confused with prison, though they both have the effect of releasing people in a more disturbed condition than they came in.
it’s amazing how similar oral examinations in law school are to going before a parole board.