Lewistown, PA
a cl-ssical suburban h-llhole located directly beneath the big brown sh-tstain on your map of pennsylvania, known for it’s extended use of bupes (once heroin) and the red-blooded conservative b-st-rds who illogically hate the mexicans because of it.
lewistown is occupied primarilly by pretentious, white, protestant, xenophobic, working-cl-ss individuals who have no clue what the word “xenophobic” means. the local high school students have begun to take pride in their football team’s unbelievable losing streak.
see also, “what state college p–ped out after a potentially death-defying binge of taco bell feasts.”
a typical conversation in lewistown, pa:
– “gee, i sure hate those g-dd-mn mexicans.”
– “yeah, they come up here and steal our jawbs down at the chicken plant.. g-dd-mn spicks.”
– “boy, i’m glad i got that out of my system. let’s go shoot up some heroin!”
– “awright, as long as you didn’t buy it from no g-dd-mn beaners.”
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