LifeRules

the most important life rules.
if you follow them, you will find true enlightenment.
rule one:
be friends with people who can get you free food.
rule two:
don’t get caught doing anything stupid.
rule three:
if/when you do get caught, don’t do anything stupid to make it worse.
rule four:
always play good music.
rule five:
eat cookies.
rule six:
when you aren’t friends with people who can get you free food, find a way to steal food that is both quick and effective.
rule seven:
learn how to play the guitar. it is both cliche and attracts members of the opposite s-x.
rule eight:
tell someone you love them.
rule nine:
learn a form of martial arts. to kick peoples’ -sses as well as attract the opposite s-x.
rule ten:
always find comfort in ben and jerry.
rule eleven:
take over-priced and cr-ppy photos in a photo both with more than two people (cramped sp-ces make for better and more memorable pictures).
rule twelve:
learn a foreign language and confuse people.
rule thirteen:
talk to strangers: www.omegle.com
rule fourteen:
eat a series of foods all with the word ‘pop’ in them (popcorn, poptarts, pop…and that’s pretty much it)
rule fifteen:
do flips on a trampoline.
rule sixteen:
bathe in your own awesomeness.
rule seventeen:
set someone you don’t like on fire.
rule eighteen:
jump out of a window.
rule nineteen:
buy a dog and name it susan. raise it to be your best friend, always be there for it, and it will always be there for you. love susan and she will always return love in forms of wet sloppy kisses and tail wagging. one day, you’ll accidentally hit her with your car and go through a horrible cycle of drinking and guilt. eventually you’ll get over it and will buy goldfish for the rest of your life.
(this rule is not necessary)
rule twenty:
do whatever the h-ll you want. who cares?
(this is considered to be the most important liferule)
by following these liferules, i have achieved enlightenment!