liquid pizza
noun: stomach contents; vomit; puke; barf; liquid laughs; liquid groceries; et al.
so called for the similarity of its visual texture and color palette to typical cr-ppy frozen or national-chain, two-for-twenty-bucks, one-liter-free-c-ke delivery pizza. the viscous liquid base is the consistency and color of creamed corn, not dissimilar in appearance to the plastic milk protein-based synthetic goo intended to masquerade as cheese on the typical pizza. suffused and suspended within can be nearly anything, usually unidentifiable inclusions or flecks of dark green, red or brown hue, or more rarely, black or dark gray.
mandatory though, is the presence of mysterious solid pink chunks of g-d-only-knows what. pepperoni perhaps? ham? how about ground-up beef and pork sphincters, tantalizingly enhanced with fd&c red dye no 3? yummers!
i’m such an -ssclown! i shouldn’t have drunk that whole fifth of drambuie. on the way home last night i sprayed liquid pizza all over the windshield and dashboard of my girlfriend’s car! no bl-wj-bs coming my way for a while!
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