literality


the quality or condition of being afflicted with a terminal inability to read-between-the-lines and only comprehend concepts and situations in a strict non-figurative sense.
she: “hey s-xy let’s go knock boots.”
he: “what do you mean?”
she: “why don’tcha marinate the nether rod in the squish mitten…”
he: “you wanna what?”
she: “wanna ‘wham’ your ‘oingo boingo’ into my ‘velvet underground’?”
he: “huh?”
she: “come take the love luge on the inbound loin line”
he: “pardon?”
she: “tiptoe through my two lips…?”
he: “ummm…i’m lost”
she: “your literality drives me nuts…grab some imagination and gimme’ a clunge-plunge already!”

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    when you read a book, and a big plot twist, or a big surprise happens that makes you go ”oh my g-d!” taffy: i was reading the seventh harry potter,and when i found out that snape was actually a good guy, i had a literary -rg-sm. jenn: i know! so did i!

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    a word that generally means any swear word such as: cr-p, sh-t, f-ck, dammit, etc. it is normally used by canadians, since they are in the moose country. oh mooseconflappers! i forgot to pack my lunch for the day!

  • Sepide

    the coolest sister ever. a sepide can also be a pain in the -ss when it is busy eating waffles. sepides love waffles. yes…it’s f-cked up. guy#1: dude look at that girl eating waffles! guy#2: bro, she is such a sepide!

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    the morning wack is a routine masturbation session that takes place every day, either before or during the morning sh-t or while taking a shower before work. the morning wack may or may not be a direct result of having a morning wood, but certainly encourages the routine aspects of this session. of course the […]

  • Septic Pear

    the act of placing various fruits in ones -n-s, and then proceeding to eat it while having -n-l s-x with them sharice and i had great septic pear last night, her -ss-grapes were delicious


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