Longview Toughguy


typically an obese, smelly and conceited individual from the city of longview in washington state that spends his free time driving around in a gigantic truck that compensates for his tiny p-n-s and giving people rude facial gestures. they all smell like the sewage plant that they work/eat at. be careful not stare while they’re waddling to the front door of a run down bar or they might sit on you.

the trucks that longview tough guys drive usually various “bad-ss” stickers on them, such as marines stickers or army even though they have never been in the military or stepped foot on base. other stickers include death metal band names, offroad performance parts and confederate flags.

you can find most of these smelly chodes around the industrial district or in kelso, they’re easy to spot. just look for a truck that looks like a tweaker’s -sshole and a smelly f-cker that just got done f-cking a fat chick. don’t git scurred when he scowls at you and tries to run you off the road for not driving a pickup truck.
wh-r-mouth #1: “my dad bought a used chevy silverado and bought a 4 foot lift kit for it.”

n-gg-rf-ggot #2: “wow, he sounds like an -sshole. i guess that makes him a ‘longview toughguy’ now.”

wh-r-mouth #1’s dad: “shut yo mouth boah. if i was yo daddy i’d be kikkin yo’ -ss right now. git boah, git!”

n-gg-rf-ggot #2: “why are you talking like that? aren’t you from washington? they don’t have southern accents up there.”

wh-r-mouth #1’s dad: “d-mn it to h-ll boah, i’m from kelso ‘cross dat bridge frum longview git befo i shoot you did”

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