Loudonville

a cr-ppy sh-t stain of a town in ohio that is a suburb of perrysville. their mark on history is when their basketball team went to state and promptly lost, because somebody didn’t score any points. their team is called the redbirds, because the education there is so dulled down that they don’t even know that a “redbird” is a cardinal, the state bird in ohio. if there were a nuclear halocaust, and loudonville were hit, not only would people not care, they would probably applaud because honestly…who gives a sh-t about the “canoeing capital of the midwest”?
loudonville smells of a sack of b-ttholes.

uhhhh derrrrr….were the loudonville redbirds.

if you are a male nurse, you are probably from loudonville.
loudonville ohio is one of the most boring towns ever. you could go shop at the only shoe store, or you could go eat at the hanover house diner. the diner is the only good place to eat anymore. theres one bar here too, beano’s. the bowling alley burnt down years ago, which was the only source of entertainment. our awesome history is pretty much the flexi and canoeing. our high school isn’t too bad. our football team is improving, and even flip flopped their losing records. soccer teams aren’t that bad. basketball was really good in the 11-12 season. unfortunately, they suck now. we need our old seniors back. our cheerleaders.. well.. they are pretty good for the most part. our softball is amazing.. and always has been. probably our best sport. the baseball team is ok i guess. marching band is not a sport, although they think they run this town. they even have their own little beef with the cheerleaders.. it’s funny. loudonville pretty much only has its sports (not band) to be proud of.. which they should be.
joe: hey man wanna go do something in loudonville tonight?

rick: like go to beanos?

joe: no.. lets go to a softball game.
rick: oooooh ok yea that sounds like more fun.

joe: yea because they will win like always.
the most redneck town ever. everyone who lives there thinks that the football team is the greatest thing to ever hit this planet but they haven’t won a game in 3 years. all of the teachers at our school are about as smart as some average 5 year olds. our marching band is more athletic than all of our sports teams combined (except our soccer team). if you ever think about coming to loudonville, stop right now and never think this thought ever again. if i could give a compliment to loudonville, i wouldn’t. the only source of entertainment at all in this sh-t of a town burnt down like a year ago. now there is nothing but cow tipping and blowing bubbles.
hey johnny you wanna go to loudonville? noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

loudonville football team record: 0-3520.56

loudonville outsider: “do you have any culture in loudonville?”
loudonville resident: “what’s culture?”