Machete speech
when your girlfriend’s dad (or your dad, if you are the girlfriend) takes the boyfriend aside and gives him a good talking to. usually includes a lot of posturing on the father’s part, because he’ll be trying to give the boyfriend a scare to convince him to treat the daughter well. in some cases can include sharpening a knife or polishing/cleaning a gun for a threat. most often includes do’s and don’t’s, but usually just don’t’s.
person a: aw man. when we got back to her place, her old man was waiting to give me the machete speech.
person b: that’s rough, dude.
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