Magic Underwear

like most of the mormon cult’s practices, magic underwear seems to be another poorly kept, weirdo secret.
their magic underwear are worn under their real underwear. picture a woman wearing a man’s t-shirt and boxer briefs under her bra and panties, and that’s the look.
they even sew embroidered patches into their magic undies, adding even more mystical, magical gibberish to the mix.
i had a boss who was a mormon priesthood holder on the side. you could see the outline of his magic underwear on his upper legs through his trousers.
he professed to be some kind of moral role model but in actuality all he worshipped was money. he treated his staff like slaves and his upper management (all women) like sister wives.
in addition to thinking his magic drawers would bring him x-ray vision, the ability to fly and other insane delusions, he also thinks when he dies he’ll inherit his own planet to rule.
he hides behind a conservative, family values, religious christian republican facade, but in reality the man is totally batsh-t crazy.
a garment worn by extremely devout followers of the the mormon cult. it is basically a set of long underwear but the mormons beleive it protects them from evil. some peole might try and argue that it isn’t called magic underwear but if it really protects you from evil then its gotta be magic.
you want an example? i donno, ask a mormon for one the next time one comes to your door to convert you.
a nickname for mormon underwear. this nickname is disliked by mormons

mormons who have been through the masonic ‘mormon endowment ceremony’ wear special underwear which they call ‘g’s’ or ‘garments’. every non-mormon refers to them as ‘magic underwear’.

they are an ugly 2 piece set – like long johns and a t shirt – which are white, with white embroidered masonic symbols on the breast and 1 knee. the symbols represent a masonic square (l), a comp-ss(^) and a level (-).

women wear bra and tights over the top of their magic underwear

despite protestations from mormons about the nickname for their underwear, every mormon will have heard stories from fellow mormons about how their garments have protected them from all sorts of harm – fire, gunshots, animal bites, accidental cuts, etc

this is the reason they are referred to as ‘magic’.

basically, mormons are wiling to ascribe magical status to their underwear, but get offended if anyone refers to them as such
drying off after her shower, ann quickly donned her magic underwear before putting on her black lacy bra over the top
underwear of the mormon religion. also known as garments or simply g’s. these magic underwear give mormons the power of flight, invisibility, x-ray vision and gardening. don’t ask a mormon about his majic underwear or you will be attacked by an army of scary happy plastic robots
man, good thing i had on my magic underwear, or i would have been killed when that steam-roller rolled over me.
clothing that mormons wear underneath their clothes that represent the closeness of god to the soul. its not magic. no member of the religion believes it to have magic powers. stop making up bullsh-t. it has no masonic symbols, in fact, the mormon religion is in no way related to masonry. it’s just a religion, just like any other religion. (it’s not a cult. i would know. i am mormon.) so stop being so pretentious and disrespectful and pipe the f-ck down.
“hey mormon friend, did you get your magic underwear? lol @ the mormon cult”

“stfu it’s just clothes, disrespectful b-tch. mormons don’t make fun of you for things that are special to you, so stop making fun of them.”