Malloyee

an individual who has gained many unattractive attributes because of working in the mall.

i.e. walking at an inhuman pace, while destroying everything in your path, including: children fellow employees, the elderly, mall rats, and those who think that walking slower than a herd of stampeding turtles is a good pace, on black friday.

-giving people who aren’t your customers the finger, because you can’t do it at work.

-violently yelling at random people while finding a parking sp-ce and stalking anyone walking toward a car with your hazards on because your shift starts at 5 and it is now 4:57.

-finding yourself in fights in the food court because someone took the last soy sauce packet at panda express.

-tapping your foot and sighing entirely too much while you’re in line at starbucks, while simultaneously comparing your work ethic to theirs, out loud.
liz: holy sh-t did you see that?
mark: what?
liz: that girl just ran through here and didn’t injure anyone.
mark: she must be a malloyee.

ali: uhm, excuse me???
random pedestrian: yea?
ali: yea, i was wondering if i could take your parking sp-ce.
random pedestrian: well i got a long way to go, all the way across the lot.
ali: well f-ck you then you far away parker b-st-rd!!!!!!!!
random pedestrian: holy sh-t. must be a malloyee