Man Motor
that little part of your brain that will hear or think of something hilarious but inappropriate, which will act as its ignition. it is then powered by your attempts to ignore it, and will accelerate, never reaching a terminal speed and only stopping when you blurt out whatever thought started it at the worst possible moment. it is related – but not linked to – that part of your brain that inexorably broadcasts horrific images to the rest of your brain at inconvenient times, for example: images of corpses while eating, images of your mum during s-x etc.
called ‘man motor’ because there is no evidence of this phenomenon ever occurring in females.
your idiot thoughts during a funeral: hey, that dude who was killed in a horrific car accident at the age of 25’s wife’s face kinda looks like a pan-fried v-g-n-.
man motor: -click! whirr…- yep, pan-fried v-g-n-. probably should tell someone that.
that one part of your brain responsible for – and completely incapable of – inhibition: no, that’s horrible.
man motor: -whirrrrrrrrrrrr…- nah, go on, it’ll be funny. you love causing egregious grief.
inhibition: no, man motor, no.
man motor -whhiirrrrrrrr…- come on, you don’t know how people will react, they might like it.
inhibition: please stop trying to-
man motor: -wwwhhhhhiiiiirrrrrrrrrrr…- pan-fried v-g-n- pan-fried v-g-n- pan-fried v-g-n-
you: hey, dead man’s wife, you look like a pan-fried v-g-n-!
everyone: -mortified gasps-
you, at the behest of your man motor: so… anyone wanna f-ck?
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