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marc lamont hill is a professor at the ultra-liberal columbia university, and has been compared to al sharpton. he often appears on fox news and the o’reilly factor to express his delusional views. he is know to play the race card at random points in a conversation, even if there is obviously no such card to be played.

it is important to first note, that marc lamont hill does not live in the universe as we know it. he lives in an alternate reality, called marc lamont hill world, where the logic he uses only makes sense to him. this makes it very hard to have a real conversation with him, because no one else can understand his arguments.

one example of this logic was displayed on a recent appearance on the o’reilly factor, where mr. hill came to the conclusion that the majority of senior citizens at a town hall health care meeting in pennsylvania are racist. his logic went like this. segregation existed 60 years ago, the senior citizens were alive during that time period, therefore they are racist. but mr. hill went on to try to provide evidence for this insane claim, by stating that pennsylvania had voted republican for most fo the last forty years. apparently, in marc lamont hill world, while the democrat party was running on taking care of the little guy, the republican party was running on the abolishment of civil rights.

speaking of civil rights, in one of the great “i’m about to totally pull this out of my -ss” moments on tv, mr. hill stated that over 20% of white americans are against civil rights. (the actual quote was, “let’s say that 20% of white americans oppose civil rights, even though that’s not true it’s much larger.”) knowing what we know about mr. hill’s beliefs, it’s probably safe to say that in marc lamont hill world, the actual percentage he’s talking about is probably close to 100%.

in marc lamont hill world, there are different definitions to words than we are aware of. for example, mr. hill stated that if you call obama a socialist, you are smuggling in white supremacist and racist views. however, words can change meaning based on the race of the person you are talking about. true to form, marc started playing the race card when former president george w. bush, in an interview with neil cavuto, had the audacity to call obama “articulate.” in marc lamont hill world, when bush called obama “articulate” what he in fact meant was, “wow, i’m surprised a stupid (n-word) like you is able to form a complete sentence.”
joe: bob, i just found out i’m a white supremacist.

bob: why’s that?

joe: because i think obama’s a socialist, and marc lamont hill says that makes me a white supremacist.

bob: well thank god i don’t think obama’s a socialist.

joe: oh no, you’re a racist too.

bob: why?

joe: because you’re old.

bob: d-mnit.

steve: guys, don’t worry about it, he lives in marc lamont hill world.

joe and bob: phew.