Mattress Wrestler

an ancient middle-eastern test that proves courage, bravery, and s-x drive. first invitations are sent out to friends and family and a “place” is rented. such as a hotel ballroom. the males parents are in charge of buying the bed(s.) this becomes important later on. the females parents are in charge of the weapons. any -ssortment can be brought. inflatable pool toys, noodles, and flippers (used for slapping) the event normally begins at the stroke of 12. the young (18) year old guy choosing a partner for this ancient ritual. the only requirement is that it must be a girl. another male helper is required. the beds are put behind a curtain on stage. the man and women go behind the curtain. after they are “done” the man must go and fight the other man naked, covered in grease – with only flippers for defense. once the man is finished, he returns to his female partner and “proceeds” when “done”, he returns to the other male and repeats. the test is to see how long the male can last.
dude one:”dude, i only lasted three rounds”
dude two:”who called you out?”
dude one:”my female partner”
all other dudes: “ha ha ha. ”
dude one:”so tired from the mattress wrestler”