metro sexuality
when a straight guy acts gay
a guy who:
1. straightens his hair
2. wears designer clothes
3. listens to pop
4. has a voice a little bit higher than the average male
5. you would mistake for a gay, but is actually 100% straight
6. someone who gets p-ssed off very easily (emotional)
7. cries a lot
8. hangs out with girls
9. brags about hanging out with male friends
10. goes to the mall a lot
11. edits pictures on picnik
okay, so you’re not gay, you aren’t bi, but how could you be straight? there’s only one reason for this! you have a metro s-xuality
that guy in skinny jeans dancing to justin timberlake has a metro s-xuality
when an alleged “straight” man enjoys being feminine in a non-flamboyant way. a metros-xual would enjoy such festivities such as make-overs, putting on make up, getting his hair “done”, putting on body spray scented with either cuc-mber melon, raspberry, mango or any other fruit-like smell, and constantly looking at themselves in the mirror. these men also tend to be bulimic because they are afraid of being fat and can be seen on any episode of american idol, either as the host, judge (simon cowell), or as a contestant.
ryan seacrest is a metros-xual wh-r-.
i’m sorry i savagely beat you, it was because your metros-xuality was showing.
girrrrl i was at the salon and the most festive metros-xual did my hair, as a thank you gift i gave him a steamy bowl of mung.
the s-xual attraction to buses.
“so, this guy like dresses in tight girl jeans and plucks his eyebrows and is like totally metros-xual.”
“what? no he’s not. see that guy humping that bus? that guy has metros-xuality.”
to be s-xually excited by the paris underground railway (subway) system
jean-paul would stand for hour on the plateform playing out his darkest fantasies.he was not ashamed of his metros-xuality.
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