milfturbate
verb. to stimulate the genitals whilst thinking of imagery of mature women. strictly forbidden under catholic doctrine.
sinner: “bless me father for i have sinned.”
priest: “confess your sins my son and let the lord see into your soul.”
sinner: “my mom had some of her friends round for a women’s inst-tute meeting and i was serving them tea and cakes. later that night i indulged myself with a furious session of milfturbation in the bathroom thinking of them in their flouncy blouses.”
priest: “wicked boy! say three hundred hail marys and scrub your hands with bleach and steel wool!”
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