militantly ignorant


1. n., peeps who rigorously eschew all forms of mental stimulation, on the feeble premise that either g-d or evolution will teach us all that we need to know. they may vocally oppose education, and believe that writing is something that only writers do. they sometimes brag about having no sense of size, quant-ty, or direction.

the militantly ignorant rarely read books or even magazines or newspapers, admit that they don’t enjoy the fine arts, have a poor sense of history, can’t find nevada or pakistan on a globe, and avoid watching the news on tv. they don’t own library cards or use technology, except as a joke or novelty, believing digital productivity and entertainment to be waning fads, and are easily recognized by holding materials upside down while reading, unless they contain pretty pictures. what informational channels they do expose themselves to through tv or movies are usually either drivel or very low-grade.

they are greatly relieved to be unaware of the existence of resources such as npr or the internet. they can’t read, spell, or even speak very well, don’t recognize or use many words, frequently subst-tute similarly sounding words for what they really mean, take violent offense at innocent comments, and otherwise misconstrue most statements containing words longer than three syllables.

unfortunately, such people rarely study or try to improve themselves or their work, (if they actually do any), and can only poorly define their misconceptions, much less defend them. should they attempt to describe a problem, they will most likely describe it as a thingy that acted funny. this may have seemed cute when they were small, but if such seemingly cute ignorance is excessively rewarded when people are small, they learn to adopt ignorance as a strategy for obtaining affection, and eventually their brains atrophy from disuse and they can’t learn more mature strategies.

(source: jehovah.to/glos/=m.html #militantly_ignorant)

2. adj., stupid on purpose.
in order to be understood by the militantly ignorant, it’s best to limit your sentences to two or three words.

quotations from the militantly ignorant:

“persons go to college so they can evolve into apes.”

“i don’t know much about ____ but i know what i like!”

“lemme see, did moses live before or after jesus?”

“but the news is on at the same time as beavis and b-tthead!”

“ha ha ha—math was always my worst subject in school!”

“no way! the minute you leave california you’re in utah.”

“since that commercial came out, everbuddy knows the capitol of arkansas is phoenix, not puhonix! arkansas, arizona, same smell! flagstaff?!? ha ha ha ha!”

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