monkey vining

v. – monkey vining is the act of transitioning from one relationship to another by retaining some form of connection to both people simultaneously. only when the new relationship is reasonably solidified is the former one wholly released.

to grasp the metaphor of the monkey vine in its entirety, one may simply visualize the mode of transport utilized by tarzan and his jungle primate colleagues in old movies. the vine that is being swung on is firmly held until another vine is being grasped, or at least is easily reachable.
person one:

hey man, do you think brad pitt was monkey vining from jennifer aniston to angelina jolie?

person two:

actually dude, i don’t give a sh-t about what’s happening in the love lives of these celebrities. 9/11 was an inside job, and fluoride is making americans stupid. maybe you should monkey vine your -ss from us weekly to some web sites that will enlighten your -ss on things that are truly relevant to our lives!
monkeyvining is a common dating practice employed by lonely, insecure or ineffably s-xy people who are too hot to stay on the market after becoming single. monkeyvining results when said monkeyviner swings to the vine of new relationship, without first letting go of the prior relationship vine. no free-sailing “time to discover myself” – which we all know really means cessation of bathing and bushwhacking – is taken between relationships, which usually means a wealth of emotional baggage and unrealistic expectations awaits proprietor of subsequent vine.

commonly referred to as “serial monogamy,” monkeyvining frequently results from fear of becoming forever relegated to the shadowy and dismal doom of repeatedly watching 28 dresses with your 28 cats.
sheila has yet another man! she has been monkeyvining from boyfriend to boyfriend for at least six years now…