Mr. California


the kind of guy who was once cool but moves to los angeles around age 30 under the auspices of a ucla graduate program and rebels against his parents, society, and traditional values for the very first time in his life. after his first ever encounter with a woman, mr. california immerses himself in retrograde sociopolitical ideologies and affects a taste for lame lo-fi music. he consciously begins to speak with an unrealistically heavy california accent and is careful to sprinkle conversations with references to noam chomsky and naomi klein. mr. california makes it a point to speak at a higher register than everyone else, which he attempts to mitigate with stylistic usage of the word “f-ck.” on the rare occasion that you receive an incoming call from mr. california, your first inclination is to cast your cell phone into the east river.
guy #1:
that alb-m is so f-ckin’ superlative, so trans–f-ckin–cendent, really. i can’t wait for elliot smith to come through town again. he’s h-lla relevant, dude.

guy #2:
he died almost eight years ago, mr. california.

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