MTB

maximum tactical bad-ssness – used to describe ridiculous tactical gear that serves no other purpose than to look cool.
that guy is nothing but a f-cking mall ninja, that -ssault vest is just full of nothing but mtb.
an acronym for mountain bike.
mike: hey snowflake, why do you need fatty rims and ridiculous travel on your mtb?

snowflake: because i brake sh-t!
to make things better. everybody has the ability to make things better, so if everybody just mtbs a little, the world can be a much better place!
“rob, you definitely need to mtb!”
short for ‘meant to be’.

‘mtb couple’ is a term used to describe two people who are likely to end up in a relationship to the point that they seem ‘destined’ to be together.

it is typically used in referral to characters in romantic films/ongiong television series. in these instances, it is blantant to the audience that the two characters will eventually get together, often in spite of numerous (frequently unnecessary) complications.

the two people in an mtb couple are seen as ‘supposed’ to be together (i.e. soulmates) and a relationship between the two is virtually inevitable.

further complications generally arise when the two do get together, with the ‘mtb’ aspect being that they will always stay with/return to ‘the one’.
the characters ross and rachel in friends were an mtb couple with a famously on-off relationship.

rom-coms always feature mtb couples who are initially separate for completely pointless reasons – a woman is getting married to a man she doesn’t even like and then suddenly realises she’s in love with -mark-, who has been in love with her since they were 5 years old, when she rejected him because she didn’t like his shoes.
acronym for mount taint bike, which is old slang for a mountain bike. riding a bicycle on rough terrain causes repeated trauma between the rider’s legs; in male cycling enthusiasts, this often leads to irritation and swelling of the prostate. this would result in a characteristically swollen perineum (a “mount taint”), the external manifestation of both local trauma and the enlarged prostate beneath.

with the increased popularity of padded bicycling shorts, the “mount taint” phenomenon has decreased in frequency (though by no means disappeared), and many cyclists nowadays are unaware of the origin of the term mtb, believing instead in a folk etymology that describes it as a nonsensical acronym of -“mountain bike” (“mountain bike”?).
albert: hey bob, what’s up? you don’t look so good!
bob: no kidding! i had to see my proctologist last week… now i get why they are called mtbs!
albert: ow.
mommy to be, someone who found out there pregnant and is going to become a mother
sarai: i think im pregnant
jessica: your a mtb??
acronym for meant-to-be. when two people are destined to be together.
omg mel! you and tom are mtb!
an abbriviation for ment to be.
tina and christian are mtb. they belong together. we, belong, together, babe, no doubt

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