mtv cribs

mtv cribs is a show where:

– they replay everything in super slow motion, eg, a guy jumping on his bed, opening his car door, picking his -ss, etc.

– your “buddies” are “p-ssed out” in a “random” room from the “party” last night

– you constantly hear, “lets take a look in the fridge, i dont know whats in here though..” sure you dont.

– most rappers claim to have “mad whips” when in fact, they are all rented.

– you dont belong on cribs if you dont have something related to scarface.

– the people always say, “everybody always does this on cribs, but im not going to do it.” by them saying that, they are automatically doing whatever it is they say everybody else always does.. catch my drift?

– at the end of our visit, the host always says something wicked corny like “youve seen my house, youve seen my cars, now get the h-ll out.” and they insist on pushing the camera lense or charging at the camera man.

there are a million other things, but im spent. dont get me started on cribs: whips, rides n dubs edition..
you can always count on death, taxes, and mtv cribs where a rapper says, “yall seen my crib, yall seen my whips, now get the h-ll on outta here.”