Narnian

a gay person who is so deep in the closet they reside in narnia. usually in reference to someone being self delusional about their own s-xuality.
“isn’t bob gay?”
“yeah but he’s so deep in the closet he’s a narnian.
(adj.) something that is imaginary or doesnt actually exist.
“have you tried blue raspberry jolly rancher?”

“yeah, i’ve tried narnian raspberry a few times”
someone with an unrealistic view of their city, bordering such ridiculousness it rivals the fantasy world c.s. lewis invented in his narnia book. usually common among mid-sized cities, especially in the midwest and rust-belt regions. very popular mentality among so-called “civic boosters”, consists of constantly drawing absurd comparisons to new york city or los angeles, using off-the-rocker data such as having a x number of coffee shops on one block to justify major-city status.
the new burger king in indianapolis sold more whoppers than the one in new york city today! dude, stop being narnian.
enlightened former-hippies (or hippies in disguise) who love all the beauty in the world and love themselves for also being so beautiful, not to mention supercool–definitely cooler than you are. they only eat local organic food unless it has blessed by michael kang or somebody of similar stature amongst the burning man community. with the obvious exception of shaking their little white booties, yoga is typically their only physical activity. sometimes a few hours a week with a hula hoop is not uncommon because they picked up the habit awhile back and just love the rhythm. their typical garb may include a leather chest guard and/or doe antlers strapped to their face. an amazing personality is a must and a substantial bank account to pay for their wardrobe and keen affinity towards the ingestion of extracurricular substances is typically standard. they used to like lame jam bands when they were younger, stupider and more innocent, but now that they have been enlightened, music of choice has to have a sick dance beat because what’s better than a sweaty old dance party. except now you don’t have to worry about getting whipped in the face by wookie dreadlocks and there are actually attractive people of the opposite s-x around, so of course if you’re beautiful, you only want to be around other beautiful people.

there are two objects that are essential in every narnian’s toolkit:
1) a crystal which they use as their sole advisor about what their life pursuit should be and always keeps the finest tour memories fresh. like when they were peaking during that killer simple > fluffhead jammy at the gorge in 97 during the most amazing sunset ever. those evasive ufos had done the trick again and that bubbie they snuck in was packed wish a fresh bowl pack of the headiest bubble gum nuggets.
2) pixie dust to keep the bad vibes and ugly people away (figuratively and literally). wanna-be narnians sometimes confuse glitter with pixie dust, but you can’t just pick up pixie dust at your local drug store. it can only be purchased at an unlisted organic grocery in two cities: boulder and berkeley. unless you’ve been to burning man or know somebody whose been to burning man, you will never be able to find these stores, so don’t even try.

a narnian can be a noun, or can be used as an adjective to describe those who exhibit traits of a narnian.
wow, check out that narnian chick with that peac-ck helmet.
enlightened former-hippies (or hippies in disguise) who love all the beauty in the world and love themselves for also being so beautiful, not to mention supercool–definitely cooler than you are. they only eat local organic food unless it has blessed by michael kang or somebody of similar stature amongst the burning man community. with the obvious exception of boogeying down to hot tracks, yoga is typically their only physical activity. sometimes a few hours a week with a hula hoop is not uncommon because they picked up the habit awhile back and just love the rhythm. their typical garb may include a leather chest guard and/or doe antlers strapped to their face. an amazing personality is a must and a substantial bank account to pay for their wardrobe and keen affinity towards the ingestion of extracurricular substances is typically standard. they used to like lame jam bands when they were younger, stupider and more innocent, but now that they have been enlightened, music of choice has to have a sick dance beat because what’s better than a sweaty old dance party. except now you don’t have to worry about getting whipped in the face by wookie dreadlocks and there are actually attractive people of the opposite s-x around, so of course if you’re beautiful, you only want to be around other beautiful people.

there are two objects that are essential in every narnian’s toolkit:

1) a crystal which they use as their sole advisor about what their life pursuit should be. it also keep keeps their finest memories fresh. like when they were peaking during that killer simple > fluffhead jam at the gorge in 97 during the most amazing sunset ever. those devilish ufos had done the trick once again and that bubbie they had just sparked, which they skillfully snuck in was packed wish a fresh bowl pack of the headiest bubble gum nuggets.

2) pixie dust to keep the bad vibes and ugly people away (figuratively and literally). wannabe narnians sometimes confuse glitter with pixie dust, but a true narnian knows you can’t just pick up pixie dust at your local drug store. it can only be purchased at a special unlisted organic grocery that has only two locations: one in boulder and the other in berkeley. unless you’ve been to burning man or know somebody whose been there, you will never be able to find these stores, so don’t even try.

a narnian can be a noun, or can be used as an adjective to describe those who exhibit traits of a narnian.
wow, check out that narnian chick with the peac-ck helmet.
enlightened former-hippies (or hippies in disguise) who love all the beauty in the world and love themselves for also being so beautiful, not to mention supercool–definitely cooler than you are. they only eat local organic food unless it has blessed by michael kang or somebody of similar stature amongst the burning man community. with the obvious exception of shaking their little white booties, yoga is typically their only physical activity. sometimes a few hours a week with a hula hoop is not uncommon because they picked up the habit awhile back and just love the rhythm. their typical garb may include a leather chest guard and/or doe antlers strapped to their face. an amazing personality is a must and a substantial bank account to pay for their wardrobe and keen affinity towards the ingestion of extracurricular substances is typically standard. they used to like lame jam bands when they were younger, stupider and more innocent, but now that they have been enlightened, music of choice has to have a sick dance beat because what’s better than a sweaty old dance party. except now you don’t have to worry about getting whipped in the face by wookie dreadlocks and there are actually attractive people of the opposite s-x around, so of course if you’re beautiful, you only want to be around other beautiful people.

there are two objects that are essential in every narnian’s toolkit:
1) a crystal which they use as their sole advisor about what their life pursuit should be and always keeps the finest tour memories fresh. like when they were peaking during that killer simple > fluffhead jammy at the gorge in 97 during the most amazing sunset ever. those evasive ufos had done the trick again and that bubbie they snuck in was packed wish a fresh bowl pack of the headiest bubble gum nuggets.
2) pixie dust to keep the bad vibes and ugly people away (figuratively and literally). wanna-be narnians sometimes confuse glitter with pixie dust, but you can’t just pick up pixie dust at your local drug store. it can only be purchased at an unlisted organic grocery in two cities: boulder and berkeley. unless you’ve been to burning man or know somebody whose been to burning man, you will never be able to find these stores, so don’t even try.

a narnian can be a noun, or can be used as an adjective to describe those who exhibit traits of a narnian.
wow, check out that narnian chick with that peac-ck helmet.