Natural Methodist


1. a born again birth control user who excessively claims to be using natural birth control method; and gives tmi about her cycle, her s-x life, and her religious beliefs.

2. the natural methodist method is based on a trinity of ideas overshadowed by one all encomp-ssing truth. firstly, that women ovulate 14 days before menstruation begins, give or take two days. secondly, that sperm can survive inside a woman for three days. that an egg can only be fertilized within 24 hours of being released from the ovaries.
and lastly, that anyone at work gives a sh-t.
she’s a total natural methodist; she would have never made it through high school or technical school if she really was using the the rhythm method. i can’t eat hard boiled eggs anymore since she told me when she ovulates.

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