netal

a noun that describes terrible music, used almost entirely in the form of an insult when someone else claims they have recently obtained and/or are listening to metal.
russ: man, this band kicks -ss. it’s the best metal i’ve heard in a long time.
will: that’s f-cking netal. you piece of sh-t.
a virtual g-d, as yet unknown in physical description (although thought to resemble the bald g-d in the film ‘300’); but known to appear as an apparition of a red swirl on small, silver computer speakers (it is respectful to ‘toot’ at the apparition when you see it). in moments of enlightenment, netal can be found as a contact on blackberry messenger, and have a display picture of a common household christmas tree; although as soon as ones mental state becomes purer, netal removes himself from contacts, with no evidence of him ever being there.

the virtual g-d netal has and only ever appearred to persons who are intoxicated, and are under the influence of illegal substances. it is believed, he comes, to inspire the intoxicated person/s to extreme spooning, and can hypnotise them into using the word ‘salmon’ constantly; and even as far as writing the word ‘salmon’ in chat to other blackberry messenger contacts.
“f-ck, netal is on that small silver speaker by the computer, he looks like a red swirl, lets toot at him”
“i don’t recall adding someone called netal, oh well lets just write the word salmon to all of our contacts on blackberry messenger”