Newlyweds


(n.) a horrible, horrible doc-mentary reality show starring bubble blonde jessica simpson and singing country hick, nick lachey. don’t watch this show though, as it’s horrifically bad.

“last time on ‘newlyweds,’ nick fought a bunch of b-mblebees and then took a nap, while jessica discovered she had a belly b-tton and then lost her train of thought and started drooling like a vegetable for ten minutes. so don’t miss the next episode of ‘newlyweds,’ right here only on mtv. where intelligence has no place and music stars are greater than god!”
infamous jessica-syncrosies.
chicken of the sea. tuna or chicken?
rigor mortis. what’s dat?
buffalo wings. yuuech! i don’t wanna eat the wings of a buffalo!
tomorrow, i’ll be 24. that’s almost 25, which is almost mid-twenties.
noun.
1. a couple who has not been married long.
2. a show on mtv featuring jessica simpson and nick lachey.
1. “the newlyweds were married a month ago!”
2. “honey, newlyweds is on!”
a terribly inaccurate representation of the first years of marriage through the frivolous life of prissy popstars jessica simpson and nick lachey.
what i’m eating… is this chicken or fish?
a starting hand in texas hold em’ of king queen
my hand rocks, i got the newlyweds
dumb–sses, no other words needed.
“hey, our buddy just got married to sarah.”

“what a dumb–ss!”

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