Ngatea
a small, incredibly sh-te ‘town’ on the border of new zealand. many don’t actually realize that ngatea is an independent country, dedicated to following the beliefs and teachings of betsy the cow. geologists are continually flumoxed by the apparent nature of the ‘township’. nowhere else in the universe has been discovered a crater at the bottom of a hole, which in turn is situated in a fissure. tis this unimaginable sh-ttyness that drew the original mutant renegades from the secret underground government facility situated in the ngatean wilderness.
you see that tard over there? yeah, he’s from ngatea.
possibly the -n-s of the hauraki plains, this locality is home to a rare species of human known as the ngatean. the male inhabitants are typically good old farmer joe types who can be found at the pub comparing their latest milk figures over a few pints, and the middle age females dignified and friendly.
young females of the species are renowned for their loud mouths, wide legs and k road-like appearance. ngatean males tend to avoid them at all costs so they prey on out of towners or “new blood” (or “fresh d”). they have no morals, but are generous enough to give out free fish fingers.
“bro, you been fishing, or you been knocking ngateans again?”
“yea i stopped in ngatea for the night. some chick was screaming in my ear so i flicked a beer in her face, the local boys backed me up.”
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