ninjew

a ninjew is a jew who has developed some level of skill in jew-fu. a certain amount of strength is also required, as the ninjew may be called upon to stab vigorously. they have been known to wail on guitar or do other things that are totally sweet. the natural enemy of the pirate.

ninjews are rare and hard to pick out of a crowd.

facts:
1. ninjews are mammals, and often hairy to the point of being jewbacca.
2. ninjews fight all the time, except when they’re drinking or b-tching. a b-tch-drink-fight cycle is not uncommon.
3. the purpose of the ninjew is to flip out and kill people.
ted is wailing on a guitar while he’s drinking, and that’s totally sweet. you can tell he’s a ninjew.
a disciple of abraham himself, the ninjew is ever aware of his surroundings. skilled in the ways of jew-jitsu and jew fu, he can conquer any opponent before they can run. silent, deadly, and jewish is some of their best traits, as well as stealth, percision, and mimicry. thye can blend into the crowd without even trying to. their skin scalds when in contact of ham products and non-kosher foods. their natural enemies are pirates, zombies, zombie pirates, communists, and of course, members of the roman catholic chruch.
ninjews were heroes of the jews held in ghettos during the holocaust. they give credit to others instead of themselves to avoid being detected. they have killed several dictators, making it look like suicide when in fact it was bl–dy torture with a side of death. they just clean up very, very well.
a silent, stealthy, jewish -ss-ssin. skilled in jew-fu and the art of throwing stars of david.

often prays on n-z-s.
n-z-: ok, so a rabbi walks into a bar, and orders—
ninjew: -strike-

-silence-
a black jewish man who uses the star of david as a ninja star
“watch out for jamal i heard hes a nin-jew!
h-ll get his whole gang of nin-jews and we’ll have to put on our power ranger suits on and fight them off!”
one of jewish faith who possesses the agility, strength, cunning, fort-tude, and lethality of a ninja.
cnn: today a whole crowd of catholics attending a submarine sandwich aficionado and catholics for condoms festival were -ssaulted by a gaggle of ninjews. there were no witnesses, but the stray steel throwing yamikas was enough proof for law officials to make a sweeping generalization.
a. the female form of “ninja.”

b. in some circles, “ninjew” is used to colloquially refer to ultra-orthodox, haredi descendants of abraham who roam the poorly lit back-alleys of meah shearim and new square.
a.
man 1: dude, this girl fights like a ninja!
man 2: i think the word you are looking for is “ninjew.”

b.
woman 1: that guy came out of nowhere, lit my house on fire, and stole my money–just because my knees and elbows were showing!
woman 2: you have to watch out for those ninjews.
a jew who has ninja skills
it’s friday night and my parents aren’t going to sleep but it’s all good because i’ll be able to sneak out anyway because i’m a ninjew.

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