nobody stepped on it rule


when someone is just so freakin hungry they disregard all laws of physics and, without hesitation, will eat that delicious outmeal cream pie that’s currently on the floor. who knows how many decades ago this poor little debbie fell on the floor, but it’s still fully intact, and it tastes good, which is all that matters.
fred: aw man, my cookie fell on the floor.
melvin: you’re not gonna eat it??!
fred: are you kidding? it’s already been 5.092 seconds! i can’t eat that infected piece of @#$!!
melvin: well, you know i live by the n-body stepped on it rule man.
-melvin eats cookie-
fred: dude you’re gonna get malaria!!

r.i.p. melvin: 1988-2008

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