Nottingham Back Rub
the nottingham back rub was named after sam nottingham, said to be a descendent of robin hood himself and perhaps even conceived in the city of nottingham (granted city charter by queen victoria in 1897). the power invested in this particular back rub is like nothing of it’s species. nottingham back rub’s can be given during a particular person’s time of need, or even just in a friendly greeting that needs a special zing to differentiate it from other greetings. nottingham was, and is still said to be (unanimously agreed by all who know or have heard of him) the nicest guy ever born.
however, a nottingham back rub given by an unworthy person or for an unworthy reason comes off as completely pedophiliac or even h-m-erotic. don’t abuse it’s power, it will not work.
-colin: i was feeling horribly down on myself after slipping in the rain and spraining my foot on my car’s wheel, but sam’s nottingham back rub cheered me up immediately.
steve: you won’t be able to lose that boyish grin the rest of the night, will you?
-aj: i got caught with weed, again. i sure could use a good nottingham back rub right about now.
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