nutvice


an overbearing girlfriend who seeks to manipulate and control their partner’s life with constant nagging, petty fights, and unsatisfiable demands. usually in their early 30’s, a nutvice feels a sense of ent-tlement to control the thoughts, dreams, goals and wallet of their boyfriend. their methodology is to apply intense pressure and heat so that their partner’s nuts magically turn into the diamond they feel they deserve, much like how a real diamond is formed in the earth’s mantle. a man under the control of a nutvice will rarely be allowed to see his friends without written permission several weeks in advance but may disappear all together.
tommy stopped coming around to poker night after his nutvice had a tantrum.

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