Obitchuary
the notice of a death of a total and complete b-tch. this person will be in the newspaper because shes not big enough for the actual news, even though she thought she was. she’ll have her own column in the paper that is way off to the side where no one will ever see it, because she was a b-tch to the newspaper people too.
guy 1: hey, did you see the obituary in the newspaper today.
guy 2: yeah, it was for ____.
guy 3: it wasn’t an obituary, it was an ob-tchuary!
-then they all laugh and ride into the sunset together-
3 more definitions
unfavourable obituary. hatchet job on someone who has recently expired.
in her ob-tchuary we read that her much vaunted beauty was known to her inner circle to be only the result of extensive plastic surgery.
an ob-tchuary is a term used to describe a place where the local residents will most likely harm the prost-tutes working under a pimp(s), hurting business.
1. to the poorer, more ghetto pimps, the word is to threaten or scare the prost-tutes working under them. a common phrase found in the ghetto is “sendin’ a b-tch to the ob-tchuary”.
2. to the more wealthy, high-cl-ss pimps, the term is mostly used as a geological term used to describe and figure out where the safest and most profitable areas are in town, and where the most dangerous & unprofitable places as well.
both meanings carry a negative connotation
poor pimp: hey yo b-tch, don’t make me send you to da ‘b-tchuary, ya hear?
prost-tute: sorry daddy
poor pimp: that’s right, b-tch. now go out and make me more money!
————–
rich pimp #1: do you think we should send out some girls out into the tower district after midnight to increase profits?
rich pimp #2: nah, brotha. the tower district turns into an ob-tchuary after 1 a.m.
the common newspaper column that women utilize to write in and complain about the oblivious/incompetent/chauvinistic men in their lives. (seldom read by the men, incidentally — ignorance is bliss, and they don’t want to be overly depressed.)
petulant girl: my boyfriend is being a total d-nk — i think i’ll write in to the ob-tchuary, to see what the other chicks think about it.
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