Oharebatov
a goalscoring machine. a ‘fifty goals a season man’. with an acute eye for goal and the ability to turn a game on its head. regarded as a sunday league great and battles through such obstacles as injuries and alcoholism. makes roy keane in his prime look like george michael crying at the end of dreamgirls. has an extremely large head and defies gravity with every jump. his nickname is nasa. infact nasa are researching his head and they are hoping to create a man made fibre, equal to that of his head, to build there sp-ce ships with. a real laugh when he’s not barred from the park inn and never afraid of mary the lesbo! has had more fights than sugar ray robinson and less wins than audley harrison. stole a packet of juicy fruit last week just to show how mad he really is!
man: who tried to punch the bar staff last night myles???
myles: that was oharebatov
man: is he barred?
myles: only for i while, i cant live without him
man 1: who was that man that scored 6 and then got sent off for the park in? he moved like van basten
man 2: that was van basten, gerard hagerty signed him for sunday league. he built him an extension and left him bankrupt. this is how he’s paying it off.
man 1. then who got sent off?
man 2. that was that fat c-nt oharebatov. he’s always at that
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