ohio

random weather patterns. makeing meteorology nearly imposible
if you can acuratly predict ohio’s weather you are either g-d himself, or satan
74 more definitions
the 17th state of the united states — in 1803. contains 13,000,000 people and its chief cities are cleveland, cincinnati, and the capital of columbus. ohio is known for being the home of the wright brothers, the first man in sp-ce, more presidents than any other state, and generals william t. sherman and u.s. grant. also home of the champion osu buckeyes. unlike what others may tell you, there are larger h-llholes in the universe. ohio has a lot to offer and is a decent place full of decent people.
ohio’s old license plates said “the heart of it all,and man was that a sh-tty slogan”
a land of shifting mists, ohio is the most mysterious state in america. there are some who claim that it does not exist at all, but is merely a hoax perpetrated by a strong core of dedicated jokesters in the “neighboring” states of michigan, pennsylvania, indiana, and west virginia (we’re pretty sure no one tells kentucky anything).

most people believe, however, that ohio does in fact exists, and that its mystery is due solely to the mysterious mists that seem to enshroud the entirety of the state in…well…mystery, deterring all but the most stalwart of travelers. const-tuents to this belief also hold that ohio is, in fact, the last home of the dinosaurs, and that ohioan economy is based almost solely on quarrying and agricultural works using highly-trained dinosaurs as the primary (and literal) beasts of burden.
someone from michigan: ha! those suckers on the east coast actually think ohio exists!

someone from pennsylvania: actually, it does…it’s just mysterious, you didn’t even realize it was there. you know, what with all the enigmatically swirling mists and all…

someone from indiana: really?!

someone from west virginia: oh yeah, definately. a dinosaur from ohio ate my sister, actually.

someone from kentucky: oh, hey guys! what’s going on?

the other four people: oh…nothing…you know…

someone from kentucky: cool! you want to hang out?

the other four people: -evasive mumbles-
the buckeye state. one of the best states to live in, and all around best in the union. we have 3 major cities: our capital; columbus (aka c-bus, bus town), cincinnati (aka the dirty/nasty nati) and cleveland (the mistake by the lake). home to smaller cities such as; dayton, toledo and akron. 1 nba team, 1 nhl team, 1 mls team, 2 nfl teams, 2 mlb teams. we are also home to the ohio state university buckeyes, one of the largest/best universities in the country. also home to ohio university, which is filled with raging alcoholics that refer to themselves as “students”. most of us in ohio, (especially us in columbus) were born and raised with the bucks. we bleed scarlett & grey. we say things like “you guys” and a drive-thru liquor store is not strange to us. it’s the beach, not the sh-r-, and pop, not soda. we are the eastern most state in the midwest, and have some of the friendliest people around. ohio girls are some of the coolest/nicest you will ever meet. we are a big football state, but lacrosse is another sport everyone plays. we play a little game called cornhole anywhere we can. we love our corn & we love our beer. we are ohio. the heart of it all, and you’d be nothing without us.
ohio likes: scarlett and grey, tailgating, cornhole, football, lacorsse, the buckeyes, cedar point, chipotle, commfest…
ohio dislikes: that team from up north (3rd sat-rday of every november…) people who do not respond immediately with “i-o” when one screams: “o-h”, buzz kills (which pretty much includes every citizen of michigan)
a chant that occurs in columbus, ohio between 2 individuals or 2 groups of people who are too stupid to get that not everyone they see gives a rat’s -ss about sports and can’t spell the name of the four letter state they live in without help from other idiots. proof that osu students don’t learn anything but how to get arrested, drink, fight, watch football and date rape each other. anyone who yells “o-h” at you in columbus is a complete waste of flesh and deserves to get their -ss kicked.
o-h-i-o? it’s a sad state of affairs when spelling the word ohio is a group effort for h-m-phobic jerks (who attend an inst-tute for higher learning) that spend all their free time watching something as h-m-erotic as football.
the only place in the world where you can experience all four seasons in one week.
meteorologist – “this weeks four day forecast. we have snow coming in across the lake on monday, heavy rain and cold weather on tuesday, warmer temperatures and slight rain on wednesday, and clear skies with sunshine all day on thursday.”
me – “oh, just a normal week in ohio.”
1) one of the states of the united states of america.
home to a bunch of formerly bad but now improving pro sports teams, a ton of colleges, the osu buckeyes, actual buckeyes, part of the rust belt, cedar point and a lot of soybeans, cows, and corn.
ohio contains a little bit of all the typical midwestern environments- college towns, suburbs, cities, urban areas trying to reinvent themseles, farmlands, etc. it also contains part of appalachia, and a large number of “swing voters”. it has quite a few ardent liberals and conservatives, and has been the home and/or birthplace of eight presidents. the weather, it being part of the midwest region, is often “crazy” and swings between hot, mild, cold, and freezing. the four seasons are widely known to be “winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction” or something to that effect (believed to be taken from a jeff foxworthy chain email).
there’s definitely a lot more there than bad drivers, “hicks”, and cows, and just driving through the state does not really do it justice. you’ve got to experience it to really understand it, and then you can p-ss judgement.
2) a song written by neil young (while he was working with crosby, stills, nash, and young) in response to the kent state m-ssacre, which occured at kent state university in ohio on may 4, 1970 when national guardsmen opened fire on student protesters on the ksu campus.
1) “ohio… the heart of it all”
2) “this summer i hear the drumming,/ four dead in ohio.”- neil young, (crosby,stills, nash, and young), “ohio”