Old Footage Woman


hailing from hulme, manchester, the old footage lady is a 75 year old woman who happens to be the world’s oldest clubber. trotting round without a care in the world other than to raise money for the nspcc from p-ssed students at footage and other like bars, she has been out every night for the past 30 years and raised over 60 million pounds for charity. she appears to have a heart of gold, but recently, the pressure has been getting to her. local thug dean blair has started to take advantage of her. using her reputation for being a charity worker, he sends her out to do the same job but instead of the money going to charity, it helps dean blair launder money through his salt’n’battery chip shop. recently she has been spotted getting out of deans car right outside footage. she no longer speaks to the clubbers as she is too frightened, instead extending her arm holding the collection box.

however, an incident occured last week that could have scarred the woman for life. a young unnamed l-ss was dancing wildly on the dance floor, unbeknowingstly charging into the old footage woamn. sending her hurling to the ground. the crowd let out an almighty gasp as they thought she was dead. she did however survive, and the young girl was launched out of the club by power hungry bouncers on an ego trip. dean blair, amazingly, did not allow her to go to hospital. instead, he sent her back in to finish her nights work. the woman is finally thinking of hanging up her boots, but determination to raise at least a little extra than usual, so she can keep a bit to give to her old charities, is driving her forward.
“hide ya change lad, the old footage womans about!”

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