Ooltewah
a small but growing town, close in proximity to chattanooga, nashville, and knoxville. adjacent to collegedale, home of the little debbie snack cake.
i live in ooltewah. where? it’s near chattanooga. oh…
correction: ooltewah is a podunk little wide place in the middle of i-75 in the arm pit between cleveland and chattanooga. (this place is so small you can think of it as the reject part of chattanooga.)
the cops are crooked, there are trailer parks everywhere, the drug of choice is meth.
by the cops are crooked i mean most of them think they are hardcore b.a.m.f. but in reality most of them would sh-t in a real situation.
most of the general life forms here use a very slang form of the english language which pretty much no one but them understand.
never stop to eat in ooltewah! you will sh-t for days!
all in all if you would like to miss the exit for this forgotten part of the world you could simply blink and forget it ever happened.
guy 1: man i’m starved. can we stop here and get something to eat?
guy 2: are you sh-ttin’ me? this is ooltewah! if you would like food poisoning and the inability to stop sh-tting for days then we can stop but you can count me out!
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