orangutan patch
a patch/clump of girl hair found in bathrooms and bedrooms. it’s matted content clings to surfaces including sheets, carpets, drains, and wet shower walls/floors. when someone comes across an orangutan patch, the general reaction is that of disgust. it’s removal involves a thumb and index finger pinch, full arm extension, and release into waste bin.
boy: g-d d-mn it marge, not another orangutan patch, i thought we went over this.
girl: it’s not mine, it’s too dark to be mine.
boy: well it definetly doesn’t belong to me.
girl: fine, i guess i’ll clean it up, f-cking orangutan patches.
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