Pace University

a small private university in new york, where kids know how to party. where drinking isn’t saved for the weekends… it’s an every day thing. where not only beacause oktoberfest and springfest make us drink 10 in the morning but it’s a habbit formed once you attend. michaels, paulies or finnegans is what the students call thier second home on thursday nights. where students pre-game harder than you party for any event. located in the middle of no where, everyone is a drug dealer. it’s where our parents $35,000 a year go to alcohol, s-x, and drugs.
dude you going up to pace university tonight? i’m bringing my 30 pack, a bottle of bacardi dark,absolut, grey goose, a gram of weed, 1/4 oz of the chronic, my bong and a few blunts, and this is all just to pregame before paulies… you in?
an inst-tution in new york city where partying isn’t optional, it’s mandatory and the core curriculum. the kids know that there’s no reason to drink unless you’re going to get sh-t-faced (sometimes ending at pre-gaming!), if you don’t have money or a fake you’re ending up at one of three sh-tty bars (where the person you’re avoiding will be at the same one!), and the academics a total joke (you will be wasted and high during your exam and still get your a’s!). pick your housing by the way you want college to be! the tower is high school all over again, john st is the home of alcoholics and drug addicts (look at the front steps! who would want to live there?!), fulton – who cares! and brooklyn is where the patients go (who even goes there?!)! no worries, you’ll see everyone in the caf where everyone knows everyone’s story. more people live at the dorms than people go to school! no concern since pace probably just lost all their paperwork! you need money? call up daddy! he’ll probably give you a nice $600 a week to spend on all the pre-gaming necessities, the taxi cabs, and the drugs you need to sleep! but it still won’t be enough! the only thing that lives up to it’s name is pacing yourself, as in you can’t pace yourself and the pu because you will reek of marijuana after two days! too bad it ends all too shortly!
“it’s too much money to have fun anymore…i hate my college.”
“transfer to pace university! you’re parents will pay $50k for it!”
pace university, located in the heart of pleasantville, ny.. that pretty much speaks for itself. pace university..the biggest mistake of your life. if you’re happy with drinking in one small living room at the townhouses, then this is the place for you. at pace, you constantly have to be worried about being written up. if you like walking up a huge hill, just to get shut down at the townhouses, this is the place for you. if you like to pregame quietly in your dorm room, only to find out that there is nothing going on, this is the place for you. you think it’s going to be a good night? think again. if you don’t have a car, you’re screwed. if you’re thinking about going to the mall on a sat-rday, have fun hopping on the shuttle, taking a train, walking 30 blocks there and back, hopping on the train again, and then waiting an hour for the shuttle to come pick you up in town, then this is the place for you. if you enjoy wildlife and nature outside your window, a farm at your convenience on campus, and running from the skunks after a long night of sitting on a couch in a “townhouse” this is the place for you! if you’re okay with waiting on a 20 minute line just to order some chicken fingers and french fries, this is the place for you. if you’re ok with all of your friends going home on the weekends, this is the place for you. remember high school? all those rumors and drama filled days? well you can have it all back right here at pace. if you like being constantly yelled at, this is the place for you. what are you waiting for??!!!! pace university!!!!
“another amazing night at pace university!!!!”
flushing qur’ans down the toilet since 1906.
jihad against all pace university infidels!
allahu akbar!

-osama bin laden