pants vampire


–noun
1. a preternatural being, commonly believed to be a reanimated corpse, that is said to sneak into the closets of unsuspecting, frequently drunk victims, ripping one – and only one – pair of pants before folding and placing it neatly in the middle of the pile.
2. (in eastern european folklore) a corpse, animated by an undeparted soul or demon with a pants fetish, that periodically leaves the grave and disturbs the living’s wardrobes, until it is exhumed and impaled or burned.
3. a person who preys ruthlessly upon other people’s pants.
4. a woman who unscrupulously exploits, ruins, or degrades the men she seduces by ripping their favorite pair of pants.
5. an actress noted for her roles as an unscrupulous seductress, able to seduce the pants off of every and any man she pleases: the vampires of the silent trouser movies.
chris: dude, i don’t know what happened, but my favorite pair of pants has a huge rip in the -ss!

adam: pants vampire.

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