paranoid pooper
a person who finds it necessary to use a half roll of toilet paper (usually amounting to a half inch of tp cushioning) to line the toilet seat of public bathrooms out of fear of contracting an alien disease.
also referred to as a daft defecator.
kb: wtf took you so long? that t-rd must have really been a fighter!
russ: not at all actually. i would have been out in five minutes had it not taken me ten to remove the remnants of a paranoid p–per before i could drop deucage.
“hey man sorry it took so long, but a paranoid p–per like myself can never be too cautious before procuring a fat t-rd nugget.
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