Pervy Pete


male who acts strangely with a weird aroma, who you believe to be on a government register.
“i’m sure i’ve seen that pervy pete on crimewatch”

“call the police i can’t find my baby and i’ve just seen pervy pete leave the building”

pete: “if you want i’ll babysit for you tonight”

normal person: “f-ck off or i’ll stab you in the eye and get the old bill on you. and how the h-ll did you get into my house?”

pete: “oh haven’t you got a cute kid”

translation:” i’m gonna eat your baby”

pete: “i’m in the mood for a good night out and a bit of romance”

translation: “i’m gonna break into your house tonight, kill your cat and drink its blood and then rape your mum”

pete: “i watched this really good doc-mentary last night”

translation: “i finally got that web cam working in your bedroom”

“hey man did you just fart?”

“no, pete just came in”

pete: “i love my mum”

translation: “i keep her body under the bed”

pete: “me and my dad get on so well”

translation: “he taught me how to groom kids and not leave any evidence behind”

pete: “don’t you just love the smell of rain?”

translation: “bath time!”

pete: “hey luv its been 3 months since we started seeing each other, shall we go out and celebrate”

girlfriend: “look, i don’t know who you are or where you came from, i swear i won’t tell the police just please untie me and let me see my mum, i only went out for some milk”.

pete: “i love halloween”

translation: “chereece has her birthday on halloween and there are lots of young kids wandering the street”

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